Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Newton's Law

Newton's third law of motion states: "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." I find this statement proves true every time its tested. And it is curiously similar to the law of karma, yes?

All this nonsense has to do with the fact that I got a new bra. And may I say, "Holy crap...I feel like a new woman!" I'm walking taller and I feel beautiful. But I can't smile.

Same day I get my new bra (yesterday), I get a piece of lettuce stuck under my gum. Of course it's a piece of red-tipped lettuce and it's the red tip that got stuck. I tried to dig it out last night and managed only to push it down deeper. I mean to tell you that I have never seen anything like this in my life. This lettuce is WAY under my gum...front and center (of course). It looks disgusting and it's starting to swell. I'm afraid I'll need some DDS intervention on this one.

Today is my eight year wedding anniversary. We aren't exchanging gifts this year because we've booked a Disney World vacation for August. I know that it's sweltering hot and miserable, but with my daughter on year-round school, our options were limited. AND we'll be there for my daughter's 7th birthday. I'm so excited I can't stand it. We leave in 52 days.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Is it just me?

Seems lately that every time I turn around, I find a super hot guy.

A month ago I asked building management to install a fire alarm strobe light in my office (because we didn’t have one and we missed the last two fire drills). Yesterday this incredibly sexy man comes to my office to do the work. My office has this supervisor window, so I can see the entire office from my desk (I remind you that there are only two of us in this office and I supervise no-one). The guy is up on his ladder RIGHT outside my window A-L-L day. And he is OH-MY-GOD hot.

Today, ANOTHER hot guy shows up to work on my AC. Are you kidding me? This one is even better looking than the one yesterday. Where do these men come from and where can I get one?

And you’ve heard about my neighbors, yes? No? Well let me tell you…they are Greek gods. These 20-something brothers are about 6-foot, 4-inches tall with 6-pack abs, blond hair and blue eyes. They like to mow the grass with their shirts off. As a matter of fact--I like them to mow the lawn with their shirts off, too. I call them the “hot neighbors”. They probably call me the “creepy neighbor.” I’m damn-near old enough to be these boys’ mother.

I was reading a book with my daughter a couple nights ago about the importance of taking care of your skin (keep it clean, wear sunscreen, use lotion, blah blah blah). We got to the part in the book where they talk about why people’s hair color is different and why older people have gray hair. My daughter says to me, “Well, you’re old and your hair isn’t gray.” It was late and I was tired so despite the three thousand rebuttals that flooded my brain, I opted to leave that one alone.