Ouch!

My daughter fell out of bed Wednesday night. She sleeps in a regular twin bed, so it wasn't that bad of a fall...not like falling out of the top bunk of a triple bunk bed (and I would know). Thursday morning, we told her what happened and she had no recollection of it at all. But we had proof... OUCH!! That had to hurt. How can she not remember it?

It started raining about 7:30 last night and it hasn't stopped. It's the really nice, soft rain that makes you want to stay up all night and listen. Today is very gray and wet. It's the kind of day that makes me want to stay in bed with a book. I just (last night) finished Seven Days to the Sea: An Epic Novel of the Exodus by Rebecca Kohn. I don't think I liked it. Ms. Kohn made Yehveh (God) a very angry and unforgiving God. Moses was not "blessed", but rather punished by being chosen, almost to the point where one might consider it torture. It is unfortunate that she made Him so aweful, but the real story was about the relationship between Moses' sister (Miryam) and his wife (Tzipporah). That aspect of the story was really very lovely.

Up next, Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire. I've read several of Gregory Maguire's books: Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister is the story of Cinderella as told by one of the wicked stepsisters and Wicked is the story of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. (I also read Son of a Witch, but that one just confused me.) Mirror Mirror is, of course, the story of Snow White. I'm excited to get started on the book. Gregory Maguire is, in my opinion, a brilliant author.

I'm one of THEM!

OMG--I did it. Last night, at 11:32 PM, I crossed the line. I became one of "THEM"...one of "those moms". The kind of mom that stirs the pot...throws fuel on the fire. The kind of mom whose name makes teachers and principals moan and twitch. And I didn't even know what I was doing until I was done.

I emailed the principal of my daughter's elementary school at 11:32 PM to demand an investigation of another mother's actions. (I can't believe I'm saying this out loud.) It gets worse...I emailed the mother of whom I am demanding an investigation at 6:28AM and asked that she explain her actions. Then I forwarded her reply to the principal. At 9:50AM, the principal called me at work and said, "I am in receipt of all three of your emails."

I'm a trouble maker...a snitch...a whistle blower...I'm a--a--a--a tattle tale.

Here's what happened. The PTO meeting ends and four of us moms pull to the side and are scrambling to finalize some last minute details regarding the Fall Festival before one mom leaves town. The offender is standing at the edge of our circle saying, "Call me before you buy candy. I have gift cards. Make sure you call me first. You can use my gift cards. I have gift cards that you can use to buy the candy. Make sure you call me. Promise you'll call me." After several minutes of this, we recognized that the offender is not falling for the "ignore her and she'll go away" tactic, so I turn to her and say, "What gift cards? What are you talking about?"

Offender: "I have gift cards at Wal-Mart that you can use to buy candy and stuff."
Me: "Where did you get the gift card?"
Offender: "I asked for it. I go to stores and give them a letter asking for donations and they give me gift cards. It's what I do, Rachel. I raise money."

I turned away and continued to ignore her. The woman would not leave us alone. In fact, she walking out with us.

I was so fired up after I got home that I couldn't sleep. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. Under whose authority was this woman soliciting funds? Who is keeping tabs on her? How much money has she collected on "behalf of" the school? And what is she spending the money on? Does the principal of the school even know what she's doing? So I fire off an email to the principal and ask, in short, "WTF?"

At 6:30 this morning, I'm just as upset as I was last night, so I fire off another email, this time I send the email to the offender and cc the principal. I ask the offender, on whose behalf is she collecting the money (school or school organization)? I ask for a copy of the letter used, for a list of organizations from whom offender has solicited funds, a list of who has donated, how much was donated, for what purpose were the funds solicited, and what has been purchased with the funds? I tell her that what I want to see is a checks and balance system. I want to know that someone (besides the offender) is monitoring those efforts. Then I say, "I'm concerned that there are are ethical and legal ramifications to what you are doing." Ka-POW-yow!

Okay, in all fairness, I really don't think this lady would do anything unethical with the money she collects on behalf of the school. But at this point, I'm not sure that she could prove that she hasn't. And I just can't believe that no one is monitoring her! You can't just go willy-nilly around town asking for donations to an organization without that organization's blessing. The school is responsible for every penny this woman collects and NO ONE IS WATCHING HER!!

...at least not until now. Like I said at the top, I threw fuel on the fire. I was told by the principal that he had a meeting with Ms. Offender in his office in 10 minutes. He is going to "reign her in" and get a full account of all activities up to this point, and will monitor her moving forward.

Yes, my friends, we can chalk this up as another victory for Team Justice. My work here is done.



You know what the ugliest part about it all is? By retelling this story, I've become one of the gossip moms, too. Every time I tell the story, I contribute to the "drama" of PTO. I further strengthen the perception that PTO is a bunch of gossipy, catty, moms. THAT's the part that makes me the most uncomfortable. The entire time I type this up, I have this mental image of a glass house haunting me. I think this little episode will force me to take a closer look at myself, at what I say and how I behave.

Umm...FOOD

I took this idea from Rocks Waves Beach. I think of myself as an adventurous eater. There are few things I don't like and I've never been offered a food I won't try, so I was surprised at how poorly I "scored" on this exercise.

The list is from Very Good Taste on the 100 foods any self respecting omnivore should try at least once. Like to play along?
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here athttp://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/ linking to your results. The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:
(note that items with an * indicate foods that I had to look up.)
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea (no, but my daughter got "stung" by nettles once)
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding* (at first, I thought it meant chocolate-it means 'blood' pudding)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush* (but based on what I read, I think I'd like it!)
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi *
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns * (but based on what I read, I think I'd like it!)
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese (I would probably have a hard time eating this if I knew what it was)
26. Raw Scotch bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche* (but based on what I read, I think I'd like it!)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda * (but based on what I read, I think I'd like it!)
31. Wasabi peas (LOVE 'EM!!)
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi*
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea * (but based on what I read, I think I'd like it!)
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (I really think I'd have a hard time with this.)
43. Phaal*
44. Goat’s milk (but I like goat cheese)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (oh, baby!)
46. Fugu*
47. Chicken Tikka Masala * (but based on what I read, I think I'd like it!)
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi *
53. Abalone
54. Paneer * (based on the amount of Indian food I eat, surely I've eaten this, but I can't be positive)
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine *
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin* (I looked this up and it's clay. Do you think it means those clay pancakes that people in really poor countries eat when they don't have food?)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian * (um--based on what I read, I'm not sure I could get passed the smell)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette * (ewwwwww!!!)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (I just read an article about this in the paper a few weeks ago and it's apparently making a come back.)
74. Gjetost, or brunost * (sounds good!)
75. Roadkill (Whether I ever eat it would depend on what it was and how long ago it was killed)
76. Baijiu *
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong *
80. Bellini * (sounds fantastic!!)
81. Tom yum (or as I like to call it, "Tom yum yum yum")
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky *
84. Tasting menu at a 3-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (I just don't see it ever happening)
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa *
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor * (sounds fantastic!!)
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Pranksters raise pranksters

I love a good prank and this prank was GOOD!

My brother leaves for work just about the same time the sun comes up. So, night before last, after he went to bed, his 17-year-old son, J and a few of J's buddies brought "Buffalo Billy" over and got him all sat up in the passenger seat of my brother's van.

Rumor has it Ol' Buffalo Billy startled my brother right good. My brother is a good sport and this is what he had to say about it:

"My first instinct was to protect the family. I dove head first into the van, couple quick chops to its neck to stun him, then drug him out in the yard where I could really go to work on him. Actually, he gave me a pretty good start. Doctor said the burns from the coffee I spilled on my hand should heal nicely with little to no scarring. I gotta admit, I got a little teary when I found out J**** was behind it. Makes a Dad proud to see his son pull one off like that!"

I couldn't agree with you more, bro...I couldn't agree with you more.

My daughter scared me the other day. I went to daycare to pick her up and she was in the bathroom. I hid against the wall and was going to scare her when she came out of the bathroom. Little did I know, she knew I was there and she was on the other side of the wall waiting to scare me. She poked her little head around the corner and very softly said, "Boo".

I almost wet my pants. I screamed out loud and did what I like to call my hallelujah dance--I fall to my knees with my arms waving in the air. I do this dance more than I care to admit, but on this particular day, I did the dance in front of about 30 elementary school children, half a dozen parents and teachers, including the childcare director--who was on the phone.

She got me GOOD! I was so proud.

Oh no she din-nt!

I home today with a new plumber. This one comes very highly recommended by a man that my husband has worked with for a dozen years. He just showed up a few minutes ago and I like him already.

So the plumber is down in the crawl space dinkering around with the hot water heater. I make myself comfortable on the couch and cozy up with my traveling scarf. As I start to knit, my needles keep snagging on the yarn...what the hell? I can't knit. The damn yarn keeps sticking--yes, sticking--to the bamboo needles. Upon closer inspection, it appears that someone--I assume it was a 6-and-three-quarters-year-old girl, but I'm just guessing--tried to "sharpen" my bamboo knitting needles with the pencil sharpener.

I'm not real sure how I feel about that yet. I must admit that I am ever so slightly amused. (Think eensy weensy teeny tiny amusement.)

Anyone else had their needles sharpened for them?

Home repairs

I can't believe I didn't tell you about my Independence Day water woes. Long story short, my "PRV" went out. For those of you not hip on your plumbing lingo...PRV is a pressure release valve. It controls the amount of water pressure in your home. Normal home water pressure is 40. Code maximum is 70. The water pressure in my house on July 4 was 170. It was the same pressure as one would find on the fire hydrant that sits in my front yard. That kind of pressure can blow all the pipes in your house. Fortunately, we learned what a PRV was BEFORE the pipes blew and it "only" cost us $400.

Saturday morning my husband, through chattering teeth, reports that we have no hot water. Normally, this wouldn't be such a big deal. I mean, as far as home improvements go, a new water heater isn't THAT big of a deal...what are they? $300 maybe $400? I tell my husband, "You installed a new 220-volt outlet, you can install a water heater."

Our water heater is in the crawl space and it can't be more than 3 feet tall. Guess what...apparently they don't make 3-foot, 40-gallon gas water heaters anymore. What I want to know is, "WHY THE HELL NOT?!?!" Suddenly our $400 new water heater has turned into a potentially $3,000 ordeal (looks like we might have to go tankless). We've got a guy coming over today to see what can be done.

On a side note, my husband and I are both fortunate in that we have shower facilities in our office buildings. So this morning, we got up and packed gym bags with soap, shampoo, wash cloths, rubber flip flops, deodorant, blah blah blah. I found out this morning that my office building doesn't have hot water either.

I guess I should be thankful that it's July and not January. I should also be thankful that we have the money saved to take care of it. The down side to spending all that money on a new water heater is that it's one of those home repairs that we won't really notice. It's not like getting new windows or new carpet or new appliances. Oh well---hold me in good thoughts and I'll keep you posted.

Recipe--YUM!

So, Udi the Sandwich maker is a bit of a legend around here. The guy makes the most incredible sandwiches--I personally think they are sprinkled with magic dust or crack cocaine or something. But ANYWAY...the Denver Post (with Udi's permission) published his recipe for Orange Balsamic Vinaigrette. It is to die for! I served it on a spinach and grilled salmon salad and since I was home, I licked my plate. Udi also recommends it over chicken and mango.

(Makes 6 cups)
2 cups frozen orange juice concentrate (do not dilute), thawed
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 tablespoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 cup (scant) sugar
1/2 cup Dijon mustard
2 1/2 cups canola oil
In blender, combine all ingredients expect for the oil; blend well. On lowest speed, slowly add the oil while blending to emulsify. Refrigerate until ready to serve.