Newton's third law of motion states: "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." I find this statement proves true every time its tested. And it is curiously similar to the law of karma, yes?
All this nonsense has to do with the fact that I got a new bra. And may I say, "Holy crap...I feel like a new woman!" I'm walking taller and I feel beautiful. But I can't smile.
Same day I get my new bra (yesterday), I get a piece of lettuce stuck under my gum. Of course it's a piece of red-tipped lettuce and it's the red tip that got stuck. I tried to dig it out last night and managed only to push it down deeper. I mean to tell you that I have never seen anything like this in my life. This lettuce is WAY under my gum...front and center (of course). It looks disgusting and it's starting to swell. I'm afraid I'll need some DDS intervention on this one.
Today is my eight year wedding anniversary. We aren't exchanging gifts this year because we've booked a Disney World vacation for August. I know that it's sweltering hot and miserable, but with my daughter on year-round school, our options were limited. AND we'll be there for my daughter's 7th birthday. I'm so excited I can't stand it. We leave in 52 days.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Is it just me?
Seems lately that every time I turn around, I find a super hot guy.
A month ago I asked building management to install a fire alarm strobe light in my office (because we didn’t have one and we missed the last two fire drills). Yesterday this incredibly sexy man comes to my office to do the work. My office has this supervisor window, so I can see the entire office from my desk (I remind you that there are only two of us in this office and I supervise no-one). The guy is up on his ladder RIGHT outside my window A-L-L day. And he is OH-MY-GOD hot.
Today, ANOTHER hot guy shows up to work on my AC. Are you kidding me? This one is even better looking than the one yesterday. Where do these men come from and where can I get one?
And you’ve heard about my neighbors, yes? No? Well let me tell you…they are Greek gods. These 20-something brothers are about 6-foot, 4-inches tall with 6-pack abs, blond hair and blue eyes. They like to mow the grass with their shirts off. As a matter of fact--I like them to mow the lawn with their shirts off, too. I call them the “hot neighbors”. They probably call me the “creepy neighbor.” I’m damn-near old enough to be these boys’ mother.
I was reading a book with my daughter a couple nights ago about the importance of taking care of your skin (keep it clean, wear sunscreen, use lotion, blah blah blah). We got to the part in the book where they talk about why people’s hair color is different and why older people have gray hair. My daughter says to me, “Well, you’re old and your hair isn’t gray.” It was late and I was tired so despite the three thousand rebuttals that flooded my brain, I opted to leave that one alone.
A month ago I asked building management to install a fire alarm strobe light in my office (because we didn’t have one and we missed the last two fire drills). Yesterday this incredibly sexy man comes to my office to do the work. My office has this supervisor window, so I can see the entire office from my desk (I remind you that there are only two of us in this office and I supervise no-one). The guy is up on his ladder RIGHT outside my window A-L-L day. And he is OH-MY-GOD hot.
Today, ANOTHER hot guy shows up to work on my AC. Are you kidding me? This one is even better looking than the one yesterday. Where do these men come from and where can I get one?
And you’ve heard about my neighbors, yes? No? Well let me tell you…they are Greek gods. These 20-something brothers are about 6-foot, 4-inches tall with 6-pack abs, blond hair and blue eyes. They like to mow the grass with their shirts off. As a matter of fact--I like them to mow the lawn with their shirts off, too. I call them the “hot neighbors”. They probably call me the “creepy neighbor.” I’m damn-near old enough to be these boys’ mother.
I was reading a book with my daughter a couple nights ago about the importance of taking care of your skin (keep it clean, wear sunscreen, use lotion, blah blah blah). We got to the part in the book where they talk about why people’s hair color is different and why older people have gray hair. My daughter says to me, “Well, you’re old and your hair isn’t gray.” It was late and I was tired so despite the three thousand rebuttals that flooded my brain, I opted to leave that one alone.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Q is for Quiet--please!
The only times in my life that I have ever had trouble sleeping was late in my pregnancy and the first few weeks after I quit smoking. Aside from that—not a problem. I can sleep through a hurricane and, in fact, I have—Hurricane Hugo in September 1989. I can not imagine how frustrating it must be for people (my husband) who suffer insomnia. HOWEVER—waking ME up at 2:30 in the morning to tell me that you can’t sleep isn’t going to help you OR me. And don’t wake me up to tell me that you’re sick unless there is something I can do to help you. Like, “I’m sick, could you please get me a cold rag.” Or “I’m sick, would you get me a bucket.” Or even, “I’m sick, will you please call 9-1-1.” Don’t wake me up and say, “By the way…I’m sick.” What the hell are you telling me for?
Now that I’ve met that damn alphabet requirement, I have something important I want to say... WARNING--It’s a sales pitch.
As a BzzAgent, I get to sample products for free in exchange for spreading the word about said products. A few weeks ago, they sent me a sample of “Aveeno Positively Ageless lifting and firming night cream”…OH-MY-GOD! This stuff is incredible! Seriously, I noticed a difference immediately. The lotion smells great, it absorbs quickly, and leaves no greasy residue. Within a week, my skin was noticeably smoother. I’m not saying I had fewer wrinkles (I’m only 35), just that my skin was smoother. I checked out the entire line of facial products and none of them cost more than $20. AND…if you go to the Aveeno Website, you can sign up for a free sample and coupon.
My sales pitch sounds so corny. I wish you all knew me better so that you knew how serious I am. Some of you will figure, “What the hell” and you’ll go buy it. Then you’ll be all, “Dag—That Rachel girl was spot on!” Uh huh…just wait. You’ll see.
Now that I’ve met that damn alphabet requirement, I have something important I want to say... WARNING--It’s a sales pitch.
As a BzzAgent, I get to sample products for free in exchange for spreading the word about said products. A few weeks ago, they sent me a sample of “Aveeno Positively Ageless lifting and firming night cream”…OH-MY-GOD! This stuff is incredible! Seriously, I noticed a difference immediately. The lotion smells great, it absorbs quickly, and leaves no greasy residue. Within a week, my skin was noticeably smoother. I’m not saying I had fewer wrinkles (I’m only 35), just that my skin was smoother. I checked out the entire line of facial products and none of them cost more than $20. AND…if you go to the Aveeno Website, you can sign up for a free sample and coupon.
My sales pitch sounds so corny. I wish you all knew me better so that you knew how serious I am. Some of you will figure, “What the hell” and you’ll go buy it. Then you’ll be all, “Dag—That Rachel girl was spot on!” Uh huh…just wait. You’ll see.
Monday, May 19, 2008
P is for Piss on the Alphabet!
I am SO over this alphabet crap.
Last weekend (May 9 to be exact) I went with my daughter's Brownie Scout troop to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. It was VERY cool. They let you feed the giraffes. No shit--check it out...
My daughter is in the green sweatshirt. She's laughing so hard because the giraffes kept sticking their tongues out. Those tongues are SO long...and dripping slobber. Yuck!
How cool is that? These two shots were taken inside at night. The outside display is huge and has this elevated bridge so you can walk through the enclosure. The giraffes walk right up to you and let you pet them. It is SO SO SO cool. If you ever find yourself in the neighborhood, remember--Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. Don't forget your camera.
What else...Oh--Mother's Day. My daughter was super excited to fix me frozen waffles, a bowl of Cheerios, and fresh squeezed OJ for breakfast. She fixed the whole meal all by herself (I cut the oranges in half so she could squeeze them)--even poured the milk. It was one of the best meals I've ever eaten. She also presented me with a hand painted pot holder. It was the perfect gift from the perfect child on a perfect day.
That's all I have for today. Except that Ruth tagged me.
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
1) What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was doing administrative work as a permanent employee of a temporary staffing agency, living in sin with my boyfriend (now husband) and his (then) 10-year-old son.
2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
Write the strengths and recommendations for the PIPs section of a technical report, post this blog, cook dinner, finish potting my flowers, put daughter to bed.
3) Snacks I enjoy:
almond stuffed dried apricots and wasabi peas, but as I write this, I'm munching on a bag of cherries.
4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Host an expense paid family reunion on a Caribbean island (I have a HUGE family and it would cost damn-near a billion dollars to pull it off!)
5) Places I have lived:
Charlotte, NC; Fort Worth, TX; Huston, TX; Gastonia, NC; Wilmington, NC; Aurora, CO; Englewood, CO; and Parker, CO
6) Jobs I have had:
Target, fabric/craft store, waitress, bartender, receptionist, admin assistant
7) 6 peeps I wanna know more about:
I don’t know very many bloggers and most of those I do know have already participated, so I extend an invite to anyone else who wants to play.
Friday, May 16, 2008
O is for OH. MY. GOODNESS.
How many times have you read or been told that if you peel a banana from the bottom, you won't get those strings? Well, you know what? I call bullshit! I eat a banana every day and this week, I went against my gut instinct and made a special point of peeling my bananas from the bottom. Guess what...STRINGS!
You know what I heard on the news this morning? "We all know that carrying around a few extra pounds is bad for our health, but a recent study shows that being obese can also contribute to global warming." The local CBS affiliate went on to report that more fuel is needed to transport people who are overweight, people who are overweight eat more, and people who are overweight walk less. And that all three of these factors are contributing to global warming. My coffee almost came out of my nose. Are you shittin' me? I think someone just crossed a line.
I'm all for doing my part to reduce global warming. I reduce, reuse, AND I recycle. Know what I did on Mother's Day? I mounted baskets on my and my daughter's bicycles so we have something in which to carry our goods when we pedal to the farmers market. I use cloth rags instead of paper towels. I wear my jeans two, three, sometimes even FOUR days before I wash them AND I wash all my laundry in cold water. I even rinse out my cardboard ice cream containers and put them in the recycle bin with my cereal boxes and newspapers.
So, Mr. CBS Affiliate, don't you DARE give me crap about my few extra pounds. Enough is enough!
(I should have saved this for "R is for Rampage!")
You know what I heard on the news this morning? "We all know that carrying around a few extra pounds is bad for our health, but a recent study shows that being obese can also contribute to global warming." The local CBS affiliate went on to report that more fuel is needed to transport people who are overweight, people who are overweight eat more, and people who are overweight walk less. And that all three of these factors are contributing to global warming. My coffee almost came out of my nose. Are you shittin' me? I think someone just crossed a line.
I'm all for doing my part to reduce global warming. I reduce, reuse, AND I recycle. Know what I did on Mother's Day? I mounted baskets on my and my daughter's bicycles so we have something in which to carry our goods when we pedal to the farmers market. I use cloth rags instead of paper towels. I wear my jeans two, three, sometimes even FOUR days before I wash them AND I wash all my laundry in cold water. I even rinse out my cardboard ice cream containers and put them in the recycle bin with my cereal boxes and newspapers.
So, Mr. CBS Affiliate, don't you DARE give me crap about my few extra pounds. Enough is enough!
(I should have saved this for "R is for Rampage!")
Friday, May 2, 2008
N is for Nature.
This post would also be appropriately named, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. But I’m locked into this damn alphabet thing and determined to see it to the end. So I’m going with “N is for Nature”.
Look here…
This is the trail I walk my daughter to school on. We often see wildlife and no matter how often we see it, we always get excited. The coolest thing we ever saw was a fox…with dinner (squirrel? rabbit?) hanging from it’s mouth. It was running straight towards us, then crossed the street 10 yards before it ran between our legs. We just stopped and starred at it. Sometimes we see snakes, ducks, squirrels, rollie pollies, worms (especially after a good rain), beetles, grasshoppers, and always lots of birds.
Our favorite thing to spot is these…
I know the picture sucks. It was 8PM and I was on my way home from the HOA meeting last night. There were cars behind me, so I had to shoot fast. You should be able to see three deer, but there were 8 of them on the side of the road last night. There are a couple pretty healthy herds that live in Parker. The most we’ve ever counted in one gathering is 23. I have lived in my house for 6 years and I still get SO excited when I see these deer. I just love them!
As for the bad and the ugly…THIS, my friends, is what a couple of squirrels will do to your home, if left unattended:
Those bastards must die. Not really—we’re going to use live traps and sink ‘em in the river…I mean feed ‘em to the coyotes…I mean SET THEM FREE!! …in the woods. Set them free in the woods, WAY out in the country where they have big squirrel cities and all the nuts they ever wanted. Gourmet nuts, even. And they have big squirrel carnivals and parties every Saturday night. It’s a great place…these little rascals are gonna love it!
Look here…
This is the trail I walk my daughter to school on. We often see wildlife and no matter how often we see it, we always get excited. The coolest thing we ever saw was a fox…with dinner (squirrel? rabbit?) hanging from it’s mouth. It was running straight towards us, then crossed the street 10 yards before it ran between our legs. We just stopped and starred at it. Sometimes we see snakes, ducks, squirrels, rollie pollies, worms (especially after a good rain), beetles, grasshoppers, and always lots of birds.Our favorite thing to spot is these…
I know the picture sucks. It was 8PM and I was on my way home from the HOA meeting last night. There were cars behind me, so I had to shoot fast. You should be able to see three deer, but there were 8 of them on the side of the road last night. There are a couple pretty healthy herds that live in Parker. The most we’ve ever counted in one gathering is 23. I have lived in my house for 6 years and I still get SO excited when I see these deer. I just love them!As for the bad and the ugly…THIS, my friends, is what a couple of squirrels will do to your home, if left unattended:
Those bastards must die. Not really—we’re going to use live traps and sink ‘em in the river…I mean feed ‘em to the coyotes…I mean SET THEM FREE!! …in the woods. Set them free in the woods, WAY out in the country where they have big squirrel cities and all the nuts they ever wanted. Gourmet nuts, even. And they have big squirrel carnivals and parties every Saturday night. It’s a great place…these little rascals are gonna love it!Tuesday, April 29, 2008
M is for Miscellaneous
This weekend, my husband and I dug up our front yard (we moved existing and added a few new sprinkler heads). I woke up Monday morning with every joint in my body screaming. He says, “Well, I’m not sore.” I replied, “apparently you didn’t work as hard as I did.” My knuckles hurt when I bend my fingers. My ankles hurt, my toes hurt (would you believe I stomped my own foot?), my elbows, my knees, my hips...even my ears hurt (Note: ears need sunscreen too)!
We also spent the weekend waging war on the squirrel(s) living in the walls of our house. If you wonder how I know its squirrels, I encourage you to read Attack Critters. (It's an amusing story.) Those little bastards have chewed a hole 3 inches high by 8 inches long in the side of my house. Do you know how much it costs to get a “Critter Control” company out? Five HUNDRED dollars. I give my husband a week. One week from today he’ll not only want to pay the $500, he’ll be ready to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for the extermination of those critters.
Saturday night, I let my daughter give me a French manicure. I took a couple pictures of it, but you couldn’t see anything in the pictures. Bless her heart, the little gal did the best she could, but I have to say that my cat could have done as good a job—only she wouldn’t have put as much love into it.
I screwed up last week when I said the sock class was “tomorrow” (wrong Tuesday). The class is “today”. I’m really very excited. Know what else I’m excited about? THIS I emailed the link to Ruth with the subject line, “I’ll drive”. Of course she’s going with me.
And no kids allowed!! (Well...my kids and Ruth's kids aren't allowed, but you could take yours if you wanted.)
We also spent the weekend waging war on the squirrel(s) living in the walls of our house. If you wonder how I know its squirrels, I encourage you to read Attack Critters. (It's an amusing story.) Those little bastards have chewed a hole 3 inches high by 8 inches long in the side of my house. Do you know how much it costs to get a “Critter Control” company out? Five HUNDRED dollars. I give my husband a week. One week from today he’ll not only want to pay the $500, he’ll be ready to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for the extermination of those critters.
Saturday night, I let my daughter give me a French manicure. I took a couple pictures of it, but you couldn’t see anything in the pictures. Bless her heart, the little gal did the best she could, but I have to say that my cat could have done as good a job—only she wouldn’t have put as much love into it.
I screwed up last week when I said the sock class was “tomorrow” (wrong Tuesday). The class is “today”. I’m really very excited. Know what else I’m excited about? THIS I emailed the link to Ruth with the subject line, “I’ll drive”. Of course she’s going with me.
And no kids allowed!! (Well...my kids and Ruth's kids aren't allowed, but you could take yours if you wanted.)
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