OMG--I did it. Last night, at 11:32 PM, I crossed the line. I became one of "THEM"...one of "those moms". The kind of mom that stirs the pot...throws fuel on the fire. The kind of mom whose name makes teachers and principals moan and twitch. And I didn't even know what I was doing until I was done.
I emailed the principal of my daughter's elementary school at 11:32 PM to demand an investigation of another mother's actions. (I can't believe I'm saying this out loud.) It gets worse...I emailed the mother of whom I am demanding an investigation at 6:28AM and asked that she explain her actions. Then I forwarded her reply to the principal. At 9:50AM, the principal called me at work and said, "I am in receipt of all three of your emails."
I'm a trouble maker...a snitch...a whistle blower...I'm a--a--a--a tattle tale.
Here's what happened. The PTO meeting ends and four of us moms pull to the side and are scrambling to finalize some last minute details regarding the Fall Festival before one mom leaves town. The offender is standing at the edge of our circle saying, "Call me before you buy candy. I have gift cards. Make sure you call me first. You can use my gift cards. I have gift cards that you can use to buy the candy. Make sure you call me. Promise you'll call me." After several minutes of this, we recognized that the offender is not falling for the "ignore her and she'll go away" tactic, so I turn to her and say, "What gift cards? What are you talking about?"
Offender: "I have gift cards at Wal-Mart that you can use to buy candy and stuff."
Me: "Where did you get the gift card?"
Offender: "I asked for it. I go to stores and give them a letter asking for donations and they give me gift cards. It's what I do, Rachel. I raise money."
I turned away and continued to ignore her. The woman would not leave us alone. In fact, she walking out with us.
I was so fired up after I got home that I couldn't sleep. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. Under whose authority was this woman soliciting funds? Who is keeping tabs on her? How much money has she collected on "behalf of" the school? And what is she spending the money on? Does the principal of the school even know what she's doing? So I fire off an email to the principal and ask, in short, "WTF?"
At 6:30 this morning, I'm just as upset as I was last night, so I fire off another email, this time I send the email to the offender and cc the principal. I ask the offender, on whose behalf is she collecting the money (school or school organization)? I ask for a copy of the letter used, for a list of organizations from whom offender has solicited funds, a list of who has donated, how much was donated, for what purpose were the funds solicited, and what has been purchased with the funds? I tell her that what I want to see is a checks and balance system. I want to know that someone (besides the offender) is monitoring those efforts. Then I say, "I'm concerned that there are are ethical and legal ramifications to what you are doing." Ka-POW-yow!
Okay, in all fairness, I really don't think this lady would do anything unethical with the money she collects on behalf of the school. But at this point, I'm not sure that she could prove that she hasn't. And I just can't believe that no one is monitoring her! You can't just go willy-nilly around town asking for donations to an organization without that organization's blessing. The school is responsible for every penny this woman collects and NO ONE IS WATCHING HER!!
...at least not until now. Like I said at the top, I threw fuel on the fire. I was told by the principal that he had a meeting with Ms. Offender in his office in 10 minutes. He is going to "reign her in" and get a full account of all activities up to this point, and will monitor her moving forward.
Yes, my friends, we can chalk this up as another victory for Team Justice. My work here is done.
You know what the ugliest part about it all is? By retelling this story, I've become one of the gossip moms, too. Every time I tell the story, I contribute to the "drama" of PTO. I further strengthen the perception that PTO is a bunch of gossipy, catty, moms. THAT's the part that makes me the most uncomfortable. The entire time I type this up, I have this mental image of a glass house haunting me. I think this little episode will force me to take a closer look at myself, at what I say and how I behave.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Seems like one reason to post is because you want to know you've done the right thing and as a teacher and member of the committee (with parents, teachers, principals, bus drivers, etc) that monitors that stuff at my school, I am certain that it needs monitoring. You are right about asking.
Rock on sistah!
I think that, in that kind of circumstance, your actions are completely warranted. You never know what she's up to. And you don't want to have a black mark on your school. Totally appropriate!
You're not being gossipy. That's what our personal blogs are for - a place to vent and let off steam. It's like an online journal.
I still say we make a drinking game and everytime that woman essentially says, "Look what I did!" we take a drink. We'd have to definitely walk to that meeting cause we wouldn't be able to drive home after!
The fact that it's taken this long for the offender to drive you to madness is a testament to your fortitude. She makes me nuts, too!
Ah, the wonderful PTO. Or, as we call them up here, the PAC (parent advisory council). The politics, the drama, the angst. It is almost impossible not to get drawn in.... one of the reasons I need to take my knitting to meetings! Our first one of the year is tomorrow night.
Post a Comment